QUICKIES (I)

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now,

but thank you for caring enough to call. 

I am making some changes in my life. 

Please leave a message after the beep.

If I do not return your call, 

you are one of the changes".

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My wife and I had words,

 but I didn't get to use mine.

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The irony of life is that:

By the time, 

you are old enough to know your way around:

You're not going anywhere.

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I was always taught to respect my elders, 

but it keeps getting harder to find one.

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Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.  

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says:

"If you behave like this, you will lose all your friends”


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A young boy asks his Dad:

"What´s the difference between confident and confidential?"

Dad says:

 "You are my son, I'm confident about that.

Your friend over there is also my son, that's confidential".

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A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath:

"Mom, he asked, are these my brains?"

"Not yet", she replied.

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